Tips to keep your children aware and safe from predators

• Inform children that it is wrong for adults to engage children in sexual activity. • Stress to your child that he or she should feel comfortable telling you anything, especially if it involves another adult. If your child does not feel comfortable being completely honest with you, then together you should find another trusted adult your child can talk to in confidence. • Make an effort to know the people with whom your child is spending time. • Knowledge is power. This is especially true for protecting children from sexual assault. Teach your children about their bodies, give them the correct language to use when describing their private parts. Emphasize that those parts are private. • Make sure you know where each of your children is at all times. Know your children's friends and be clear with your children about the places and homes they may visit. Make it a rule that your children check in with you when they arrive at or depart from a particular location and when there is a change in plans. You should also let them know when YOU are running late or if your plans have changed so that they can see the rule is for safety purposes and not being used to "check up" on them. • Never leave children unattended in an automobile, whether it is running or not. Children should never be left unsupervised or allowed to spend time alone, or with others, in automobiles, as the potential dangers to their safety outweigh any perceived convenience or "fun." Remind children NEVER to hitchhike, approach a car or engage in a conversation with anyone in a car who they do not know or trust, or go anywhere with anyone without getting your permission first. • Be involved in your children's activities. As an active participant, you will have a better opportunity to observe how the adults in charge interact with your children. If you are concerned about anyone's behavior, take it up with the sponsoring organization. • Listen to your children. Pay attention if they tell you that they do not want to be with someone or go somewhere. This may be an indication of more than a personality conflict or lack of interest in the activity or event. • Notice when someone shows one or all of your children a great deal of attention or begins giving them gifts. Take the time to talk to your children about this person and find out why the person is acting in this way. • Teach your children that they have the right to say NO to any unwelcome, uncomfortable, or confusing touch or actions by others. Teach them to tell you immediately if this happens. Reassure them that you are there to help and it is okay to tell you anything. • Be sensitive to any changes in your children's behavior or attitude. Encourage open communication and learn how to be an active listener. Look and listen to small cues and clues that something may be troubling your children, because children are not always comfortable disclosing disturbing events or feelings. This may be because they are concerned about your reaction to their problems. If your children do confide problems to you, strive to remain calm, non-critical, and nonjudgmental. Listen compassionately to their concern and work with them to get the help they need to resolve the problem. • Be sure to screen babysitters and caregivers. Many states now have public registries that allow parents to screen individuals for prior criminal records and sex offenses. Check references with other families who have used the caregiver or babysitter. Once you have chosen the caregiver, drop in unexpectedly to see how your children are doing. Ask your children how the experience with the caregiver was, and listen carefully to their responses. • Practice basic safety skills with your children. Make an outing to a mall or a park a "teachable" experience in which your children can practice checking with you, using pay phones, going to the restroom with a friend, and locating the adults who can help if they need assistance. Remember that allowing your children to wear clothing or carry items in public on which their name is displayed can bring about unwelcome attention from inappropriate people who may be looking for a way to start a conversation with your children. • Remember that there is no substitute for your attention and supervision. Being available and taking time to really know and listen to your children helps build feelings of safety and security. • Also remember that in the vast majority of cases (up to 90%), children are molested by someone they know. Your efforts at keeping your child safe must be informed by this fact and not focused exclusively on the danger that strangers may present.

Chelsea could be alive today. Do you know if there is a sex offender in your area?

Chelsea King's death could have been prevented By Jane Velez-Mitchell, Chelsea King, 17, was a straight-A student, a high school track star and she loved to volunteer. Now, she's been killed, the latest victim of what you could call "junk justice." When Chelsea went running in a San Diego, California, park, it's doubtful she had any idea that another young female runner had been attacked in that very same park just a couple of months before. That first victim said she feared her attacker was going to rape her. She managed to get away by elbowing the large man in the nose. If there were falling rocks in that park, a warning sign would be up. If a hungry coyote had been spotted scrounging for food, a warning sign would tell you. But there was no warning at all that a human predator, on the hunt for young women, might be in the park. If there had been a sketch of this suspect, or a warning posted, Chelsea might not have gone running alone there. Police said DNA on Chelsea's underwear led them to 30-year-old John Gardner III. They showed his picture to the first runner and she said, "He's the same guy." Now he's been charged with Chelsea's rape and murder. The suspect was a registered sex offender. In 2000, he lured a 13-year-old girl into his home on the pretext of watching the movie "Patch Adams." Once he got her inside, he molested her and beat her to a pulp before she escaped. Before Gardner was sentenced, a psychiatrist warned that he showed no remorse and would likely attack a young girl again. He recommended "the maximum sentence allowed by law." The courts sentenced Gardner to six years; he got out after five. Five years for pummeling a 13-year-old girl in the face and fondling her. That is "junk justice." If Gardner had been prosecuted to the full extent of the law then, he would have been behind bars when Chelsea went for a run on February 25. Her grieving mom spoke directly to this point to Larry King Thursday night..."I mean how many times do our daughters need to be raped before we put these monsters behind bars forever? I just don't -- I don't get it. Change has to be made. And I know that there are people out there that are -- that are trying to, you know, get this change in place. And Brent and I are committed for the rest of our lives to be a part of that." We need to switch our focus from punishment to prevention. Our system only kicks into high gear after the fact. In this case, a warning sign, something that simple, would have cost a fraction of the millions it might take to prosecute and house the killer. A warning sign that a woman had been attacked in the park could have possibly saved Chelsea's life. In California, for every one parole officer there are 70 criminals. Companies like Google, FedEx, and eBay use high-tech systems to track packages and information. We already have the technology in the form of ankle bracelets to track the sex predators so why not use it? Think about this. We can carefully track the delivery of a package across the country but don't keep track of a sex offender who weighs more than 200 pounds. It's time that we demand the most basic freedom of all, and that is freedom from fear. There is a website (for california) that allows you to type in your zip code or address and on a map it shows you where every registered sex offender lives. You can also click on the dot and see a photo of the offender and the offenses committed. Knowledge is power. Protect yourself and your family! http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/ Go to the bottom of the page and click "sex offender locator site"

New trick used by serial killer ?

Heads Up! Know what money you are carrying.. You will see why as you read. Be sure every woman is aware of this method of operating. Share it with those you love. Know what money you are carrying. This was the first I have heard of a scheme like this. Be safe! Something very serious to pay attention to. Criminals are coming up with craftier, less threatening methods of attack, so we have to be extra cautious. Read on about the author who lives in Alexandria, VA. I live in Alexandria , VA , but I often work in Lafayette , LA , staying with friends when I'm there. As you know from America 's Most Wanted TV program, as well as the news media, there is a serial killer in the Lafayette area. I just want to let you know about an "incident" that happened to me a few weeks ago, and could have been deadly. At first I didn't go to the police or anyone with it because I didn't realize how serious this encounter was. But since I work in a jail and I told a few people about it, it wasn't long before I was paraded into Internal Affairs to tell them my story. It was approximately 5:15 a.m. In Appaloosas , La. I had stayed with a friend there and was on my way to work. I stopped at the Exxon/Blimpie Pie station to get gas. I got $10 gas and a Diet Coke. I took into the store two $5 bills and one $1 bill (just enough to get my stuff). As I pulled away from the store, a man approached my truck from the back side of the store (an unlit area). He was an "approachable- looking" man (clean cut, clean shaven, dressed well, etc.).. He walked up to my window and knocked. Since I'm very paranoid and 'always looking for the rapist or killer,' I didn't open the window. I just asked what he wanted. He raised a $5 bill to my window and said, "You dropped this." Since I knew I had gone into the store with a certain amount of money, I knew I didn't drop it. When I told him it wasn't mine, he began hitting the window and door, screaming at me to open my door, and insisting that I had dropped the money! At that point, I just drove away as fast as I could. After talking to the Internal Affairs Department and describing the man I saw, and the way he escalated from calm and polite to angry and volatile ... it was determined that I could have possibly encountered the serial killer myself. Up to this point, it had been unclear as to how he had gained access to his victims, since there has been no evidence of forced entry into victim's homes, cars, etc. And the fact that he has been attacking in the daytime, when women are less likely to have their guard up, means he is pretty BOLD. So think about it...what gesture is nicer than returning money to someone that dropped it????? How many times would you have opened your window (or door) to get your money and say thank you .... Because if the person is kind enough to return something to you, then he can't really be a threat .... can he???? Please be cautious! This might not have been the serial killer... But anyone that gets that angry over someone not accepting money from them can't have honorable intentions. The most important thing to note is that his reaction was NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! A total surprise! But what might have happened if I had opened my door? I shudder to think! THE END Now, whether this is true or false I can't confirm, however, what I hope we all get from it is how easily one can be tricked. This guy seemed polite and was apparently doing an act of kindness. Be aware of your surroundings, have your keys in your hand, check your back seat before getting in, dont open your window or door you can hear someone when they are closed. If you think your being followed or see someone thats not "quite right" go back to the store and ask the security (or manager) to walk you to your car. Lock your door as soon as you get in. As you drive off keep an eye on the cars behind you as you may have alerted the criminal (by getting escorted to your car), and they could now be following you in their car. If this is the case turn right 3 times, (I do this to confirm paparazzi tails) if they are still following you then call 911 and make your way to a police station. Big Kiss! Stay safe K

Welcome to my Blog

Welcome to my blog! 

As a bodyguard I study human behavior and mannerisms to develop a feel for people who could be a threat to my client. I survey everyone watching for the person who appears out of place or who is extremely calm amongst a crowd of excited fans. When working the circuit I am at red carpet events a lot, its close proximity and I am looking at the eyes and hands of everyone as these are the first indicators of hostile intent.  

My hope is with this blog and the book i am writing you too will be using razor sharp awareness eliminating the chances of a professional criminal seeking an opportunity to a casual criminal seizing it. 

I am the first and last line of defense. It's my job to guarantee the safety of those entrusted to my care not only physically but also their image, privacy and reputation. Muscles, martial arts, gadgets and guns are part of my armory but without the brain co-coordinating them they would be ineffective. I think like an assassin, a kidnapper, a stalker, paparazzi or even a fanatical fan and it's my job to make sure they don't succeed and get through to the client in my charge. In my job being paranoid is a good thing I notice everything however unrelated it initially appears to be. When doing a protective detail I look at everything with the mind set of "whatever could go wrong will go wrong" and I put preventative measures into place.

As a bodyguard our 3 priorities are avoid, escape and confront as a last resort. Whatever action we take is usually captured on a cell phone camera or by paparazzi and reflects on the client we are protecting. So its imperative for us to try to avoid any unnecessary dramas or confrontations. 

You too will learn how to avoid potentially dangerous situations by reducing or eliminating your chances of becoming a target . Its always better to stay out of trouble rather than get out of it.

I started training when I was eleven years old because a young woman in my neighborhood in Sydney Australia was brutally raped and then murdered by four men. My father worried and took me to a karate lesson wanting me to have the knowledge of martial arts which might come in useful one day. Since then I have taken my training to the extremes. I have travelled the world training with masters of different martial arts and special forces ops learning techniques that worked for me as a woman. 

We are supposed to be the weaker sex but in the journey, in this blog and in my book I will dispel that theory.

Women can and must learn to fight effectively if we are to overcome the height weight or strength advantages of men. The secret isn't skill or strength its knowledge. It's about knowing the body's weaknesses and exploiting them. Simple techniques, nerve clusters and joint manipulation are the tools. The human anatomy has many weak points and you will learn how to make them work for you. 

Through this blog and my book you will learn how to set boundaries, evaluate and de escalate  a situation in seconds. I'll teach you how to mentally physically and emotionally prepare for an attack and expose your bottom line survival tactic. I'll show you how to use everyday objects as defensive weapons both effectively and efficiently. You will learn what your Body language is saying to someone who thinks your prey. What personal security devices work and are worth buying. You will have the knowledge to prepare your residence with simple safety measures that you wouldn't have even thought about. Most front door peepholes enable a criminal to see inside your house. The gadget was developed to help law enforcement its cheap and its on ebay.

Unfortunately just being careful is not good enough anymore. Positive thoughts actions and feelings is great karma but it doesn't protect you from violence. Doesn't matter who you are or where you are. Nationwide, there is a sexual assault every two minutes and approximately 73% of women know their assailants. A woman is beaten every 18 seconds; 7-8 million are battered every year. Three out of four women will be the victims of at least one violent crime during their lifetime and any chance of the police being there is slim to none.

From spousal rape to stalkers, carjacking to choke outs, you will have the tools to arm you with the knowledge to avoid, escape and survive. I want you to become your own bodyguard!