Tips to keep your children aware and safe from predators

• Inform children that it is wrong for adults to engage children in sexual activity. • Stress to your child that he or she should feel comfortable telling you anything, especially if it involves another adult. If your child does not feel comfortable being completely honest with you, then together you should find another trusted adult your child can talk to in confidence. • Make an effort to know the people with whom your child is spending time. • Knowledge is power. This is especially true for protecting children from sexual assault. Teach your children about their bodies, give them the correct language to use when describing their private parts. Emphasize that those parts are private. • Make sure you know where each of your children is at all times. Know your children's friends and be clear with your children about the places and homes they may visit. Make it a rule that your children check in with you when they arrive at or depart from a particular location and when there is a change in plans. You should also let them know when YOU are running late or if your plans have changed so that they can see the rule is for safety purposes and not being used to "check up" on them. • Never leave children unattended in an automobile, whether it is running or not. Children should never be left unsupervised or allowed to spend time alone, or with others, in automobiles, as the potential dangers to their safety outweigh any perceived convenience or "fun." Remind children NEVER to hitchhike, approach a car or engage in a conversation with anyone in a car who they do not know or trust, or go anywhere with anyone without getting your permission first. • Be involved in your children's activities. As an active participant, you will have a better opportunity to observe how the adults in charge interact with your children. If you are concerned about anyone's behavior, take it up with the sponsoring organization. • Listen to your children. Pay attention if they tell you that they do not want to be with someone or go somewhere. This may be an indication of more than a personality conflict or lack of interest in the activity or event. • Notice when someone shows one or all of your children a great deal of attention or begins giving them gifts. Take the time to talk to your children about this person and find out why the person is acting in this way. • Teach your children that they have the right to say NO to any unwelcome, uncomfortable, or confusing touch or actions by others. Teach them to tell you immediately if this happens. Reassure them that you are there to help and it is okay to tell you anything. • Be sensitive to any changes in your children's behavior or attitude. Encourage open communication and learn how to be an active listener. Look and listen to small cues and clues that something may be troubling your children, because children are not always comfortable disclosing disturbing events or feelings. This may be because they are concerned about your reaction to their problems. If your children do confide problems to you, strive to remain calm, non-critical, and nonjudgmental. Listen compassionately to their concern and work with them to get the help they need to resolve the problem. • Be sure to screen babysitters and caregivers. Many states now have public registries that allow parents to screen individuals for prior criminal records and sex offenses. Check references with other families who have used the caregiver or babysitter. Once you have chosen the caregiver, drop in unexpectedly to see how your children are doing. Ask your children how the experience with the caregiver was, and listen carefully to their responses. • Practice basic safety skills with your children. Make an outing to a mall or a park a "teachable" experience in which your children can practice checking with you, using pay phones, going to the restroom with a friend, and locating the adults who can help if they need assistance. Remember that allowing your children to wear clothing or carry items in public on which their name is displayed can bring about unwelcome attention from inappropriate people who may be looking for a way to start a conversation with your children. • Remember that there is no substitute for your attention and supervision. Being available and taking time to really know and listen to your children helps build feelings of safety and security. • Also remember that in the vast majority of cases (up to 90%), children are molested by someone they know. Your efforts at keeping your child safe must be informed by this fact and not focused exclusively on the danger that strangers may present.

Chelsea could be alive today. Do you know if there is a sex offender in your area?

Chelsea King's death could have been prevented By Jane Velez-Mitchell, Chelsea King, 17, was a straight-A student, a high school track star and she loved to volunteer. Now, she's been killed, the latest victim of what you could call "junk justice." When Chelsea went running in a San Diego, California, park, it's doubtful she had any idea that another young female runner had been attacked in that very same park just a couple of months before. That first victim said she feared her attacker was going to rape her. She managed to get away by elbowing the large man in the nose. If there were falling rocks in that park, a warning sign would be up. If a hungry coyote had been spotted scrounging for food, a warning sign would tell you. But there was no warning at all that a human predator, on the hunt for young women, might be in the park. If there had been a sketch of this suspect, or a warning posted, Chelsea might not have gone running alone there. Police said DNA on Chelsea's underwear led them to 30-year-old John Gardner III. They showed his picture to the first runner and she said, "He's the same guy." Now he's been charged with Chelsea's rape and murder. The suspect was a registered sex offender. In 2000, he lured a 13-year-old girl into his home on the pretext of watching the movie "Patch Adams." Once he got her inside, he molested her and beat her to a pulp before she escaped. Before Gardner was sentenced, a psychiatrist warned that he showed no remorse and would likely attack a young girl again. He recommended "the maximum sentence allowed by law." The courts sentenced Gardner to six years; he got out after five. Five years for pummeling a 13-year-old girl in the face and fondling her. That is "junk justice." If Gardner had been prosecuted to the full extent of the law then, he would have been behind bars when Chelsea went for a run on February 25. Her grieving mom spoke directly to this point to Larry King Thursday night..."I mean how many times do our daughters need to be raped before we put these monsters behind bars forever? I just don't -- I don't get it. Change has to be made. And I know that there are people out there that are -- that are trying to, you know, get this change in place. And Brent and I are committed for the rest of our lives to be a part of that." We need to switch our focus from punishment to prevention. Our system only kicks into high gear after the fact. In this case, a warning sign, something that simple, would have cost a fraction of the millions it might take to prosecute and house the killer. A warning sign that a woman had been attacked in the park could have possibly saved Chelsea's life. In California, for every one parole officer there are 70 criminals. Companies like Google, FedEx, and eBay use high-tech systems to track packages and information. We already have the technology in the form of ankle bracelets to track the sex predators so why not use it? Think about this. We can carefully track the delivery of a package across the country but don't keep track of a sex offender who weighs more than 200 pounds. It's time that we demand the most basic freedom of all, and that is freedom from fear. There is a website (for california) that allows you to type in your zip code or address and on a map it shows you where every registered sex offender lives. You can also click on the dot and see a photo of the offender and the offenses committed. Knowledge is power. Protect yourself and your family! http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/ Go to the bottom of the page and click "sex offender locator site"